The past month has definitely been a journey for me. I feel like I have had a lot of personal struggles, but also a lot of growth as well. During the time leading up to my internship, I had little to no motivation. At one point I did not think I was going to be able to obtain an internship and had no longer cared where I went. My expectations were low and I used that as a shield to protect me from disappointment and setbacks. When in time I did receive confirmation from an internship site that they wanted to work with me, I was relieved but I also questioned why they would want me to work for them. At the time I was in a place where I felt like I did not deserve good things to happen to me and therefore I felt wary of the upcoming experience. Once entering the internship I was struggling a lot with my mental state and stability. Here is where my slacking off on school work reached its worst point. I no longer felt like trying and had proceeded to isolate myself emotionally from those around me. I had been carrying what felt like a weight on my shoulders and it was only until I opened up to my family that I was able to start a change in my lifestyle. One of the main causes as to why the issue got so bad was because I had tried to take on more responsibility that I could handle. I wanted to show that I could manage to do things on my own and fix all of the problems I caused that had slowly been building up over time. Reaching out had so far been the hardest part because I had to accept that I could not do it all on my own, that I had to get help from others in order to move forward. Although in doing so I was able to get a better understanding of work-life balance. I am learning how to ask for help from others and knowing when it’s time to put things down. Managing my time has always been a struggle for me, so setting time apart and diligently focusing on a task is something I have been working on. Right now I am just a teenager who sometimes just needs a shoulder to lie on, for people to accept me and not define me by my mistakes rather who and what I can achieve in the future.
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Since I worked in a laboratory, their routine is usually a lot of repetitive tasks that ultimately lead up to a positive or negative hypothesized result. Although I wasn’t working with Kauffman Labs long enough to see and work with them through their entire process, I was able to help them with their regular tasks during my time there. I helped run PCRs, gels, do pup checks, lice tail samples and got the opportunity to do many more things. By doing these I got to help my coworkers out with the work that they needed to get done for their experiments on reproductive health. I felt that these contributions were meaningful because I know that they're a step in a process that will lead to a better understanding of our bodies reproductive health. Looking back on my first day I remember feeling anxious and feeling the need to act really professional and meticulous in front of all the staff. Now thinking of my last day I see how much my attitude has changed. I felt comfortable being myself there and I was able to make mistakes but I didn’t feel bad because it was just another opportunity for learning and I knew that the people around me wouldn’t think any less of me because of it. Leaving Kauffman Labs made me feel saddened because I really enjoyed working there and hanging out with the staff. It was an amazing opportunity that helped give me a better understanding of what kind of path I would want to take for a future career.
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About the AuthorBringing the inside scoop to what's going on inside the head of an 11th grader trying to organize a piece of her life, through this blog giving you the details of the Nuvia/Hood-Esparza team at High Tech High Chula Vista. Archives
June 2019
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