The past month has definitely been a journey for me. I feel like I have had a lot of personal struggles, but also a lot of growth as well. During the time leading up to my internship, I had little to no motivation. At one point I did not think I was going to be able to obtain an internship and had no longer cared where I went. My expectations were low and I used that as a shield to protect me from disappointment and setbacks. When in time I did receive confirmation from an internship site that they wanted to work with me, I was relieved but I also questioned why they would want me to work for them. At the time I was in a place where I felt like I did not deserve good things to happen to me and therefore I felt wary of the upcoming experience. Once entering the internship I was struggling a lot with my mental state and stability. Here is where my slacking off on school work reached its worst point. I no longer felt like trying and had proceeded to isolate myself emotionally from those around me. I had been carrying what felt like a weight on my shoulders and it was only until I opened up to my family that I was able to start a change in my lifestyle. One of the main causes as to why the issue got so bad was because I had tried to take on more responsibility that I could handle. I wanted to show that I could manage to do things on my own and fix all of the problems I caused that had slowly been building up over time. Reaching out had so far been the hardest part because I had to accept that I could not do it all on my own, that I had to get help from others in order to move forward. Although in doing so I was able to get a better understanding of work-life balance. I am learning how to ask for help from others and knowing when it’s time to put things down. Managing my time has always been a struggle for me, so setting time apart and diligently focusing on a task is something I have been working on. Right now I am just a teenager who sometimes just needs a shoulder to lie on, for people to accept me and not define me by my mistakes rather who and what I can achieve in the future.
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About the AuthorBringing the inside scoop to what's going on inside the head of an 11th grader trying to organize a piece of her life, through this blog giving you the details of the Nuvia/Hood-Esparza team at High Tech High Chula Vista. Archives
June 2019
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